Sunday, November 05, 2006

A Crushing Blow...

I received word yesterday that the birch bark hats I submitted to the Earth Fire and Fibre exhibit at the Anchorage Museum were rejected from the exhibit. This is really a crushing blow to me. I had wanted to make these hats for 2 years, and wanted to enter EFF for three years....and finally did all of the work and am so happy with my hats. I was so sure they would be accepted----EFF is the premiere Alaskan arts and crafts exhibit.
I was just so sure they would get in....

So I feel very, very sad right now.
After reading the letter from the museum (sitting in my car outside the post office) I kept myself together enough to do errands in town. As soon as I got home I told Frommage about the rejection and had a good blubbery cry on his shoulder----he is always so understanding.

This whole experience reminds me of something a wise friend of mine once told me---that the career/life of being an artist does not attract the emotionally and mentally unstable---it creates them. She was referring especially to manic depression----our high hopes and expectations being dashed to deep, dark depressions and frustration.
Yes, I'm feeling it.

Combined with this rejection slip, I have the flu and I can't sleep. And the house is a mess.

On a brave note, I spent two hours this morning combing the internet for artist opportunities---juried shows, exhibit applications, grants, etc. My thought was that there must be a craft museum or exhibit I can submit images of the hats to----I need something to ameliorate my sadness over the failure of the EFF show.....

damn it.

If any fellow artists are reading this: where do you get your show opportunity listings? Where do you find shows to enter/apply for?

My sinuses and emotions are both taking a turn for the worse, so I am going back to bed. What the hell, it's Sunday and I am ill and kind of depressed.

Tomorrow is another day.
Sigh. Posted by Picasa


Anonymous said...

hey girl, dont let the bastards grind you down. a painter i knew once said that an artist had to get used to rejection, for it is as much a part of the trade as stink is to a garbageman. i myself just received a round of 3 rejection notices for grants that i applied to. i like to think of these things as sowing seeds as i walk down the field, throwing them over my shoulder. then i look back, and if something has sprouted, thats great. if not, i shrug and move on. it is hard not to take it personally, but i long ago decided that if i was ever going to make it in this biz, it was not going to be with anyone or any organizations help, only on my own merit and hard work. that being said, check out artist trust. they have a great data pool of grants and such. ... subscribe and they send you a newletter full of grant possibilities. i have a small collection of rejection notices, if that makes you feel any better. so dont worry. your ship will one day come in, even if there is no harbor in fairbanks. just keep the fire burning and your heart in your work and everything will fall into place.


Eero said...

This is what I needed to hear. I really appreciate words like this from a fellow artist! I've been really casting around for shows, grants, opportunities, etc. with very little sense of what is going to work, what will be worthwhile, etc. I've been trying to avoid 'putting all my eggs in one basket' but with the slim arts opps. here, it's hard to avoid.....and that EFF show was a really special effort. Yeah, it's hard to avoid getting burned. My new tack is to apply to so many shows and grants that there will always be some kind of small success to outweigh the rejections. I have two files for application replies: positive and negative. Yes, the fire is still burning strong, it just got pissed on this week, and I have to rebuild it a little.

sp8cemunky said...

Hi! First time poster-when i read the sad news about your hats I had to post. I think they are lovely, original and very well made.

I will post to a local arts elist here in Baltimore and see if I can garner some suggestions for you.

Your work is wonderful, please don't get too discouraged :D

bugheart said...

of course
i couldn't
say it
as well
as joe...
but i am chimming
in to say-
don't lose heart.
is part
of the process...
even for our
science types
{they rejected
huge chunks of
my proposal
after all}