Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Getting out into the world

Summer is here! Last week, somebody or something somewhere flipped a switch and the warm season arrived. Leaves on the trees, green grass, sunshine everywhere. We made it through the sensory deprivation of winter.....mostly intact. Above: Fromage.

Amy and Shannon. We dug out our mountain bikes this time.

I'm thinking a smaller, lighter camera would be a good thing for these on-bike shots! My poor camera....it's falling apart. Body panels are coming off and the camera only works when it is tightly taped together. I tend to do this: hold on to things until they are totally falling apart. My car is in this state, too, as a blown head gasket and 140K+ miles necessitates a new engine....or not?

I'm in this interesting period of life where everything is wearing out at once. My camera is failing, my car is kaput, my beloved cat of 12 years died, I've decided this is my last season at my job and I split the ass out of my favorite pants. Big and small, changes are here.

In the positive, there is new to replace the old. We bought a new bed, I'm starting graduate school, I have money to buy a new (used) car and I went out and got a new pair of favorite pants. So.... despite the upheavals of saying sometimes very difficult farewells to things in my life, friends, favorite tools, ways of being/acting/thinking/feeling..... I am accepting all the new. Do or die, right? Sometimes it feels that way.

On the art front: I pick up my show this week from The Alaska House Gallery. Reviews from friends and fellow artists were good overall. I sold 2 paintings to a local writer. Even though I know better, I always hope for some kind of BIG epiphany or experience from a show. Something like selling most if not all of the paintings or being noticed by a major reviewer/gallery/collector which will lead to "greatness," whatever that may be.

I think it's an expectation that the outcome of a show will equal the intensity and work building up to a show. This is not the case.

I once had an artist friend say that manic depressives aren't attracted to the arts; manic depressives are made by the arts It's the stress, expectation, hopes, anxiety leading up to a performance or show which afterwards, becomes a let-down, an acceptance of reality, a letting-go of idealized fantasies. So it goes. I know there are artists out there who will disagree with this (feel free) but I see some truth in it. And this is my blog. So there.


The sun is shining and I'm going to go out there and get in it.